First dates are great! It’s the promise of happiness in another person. With that in mind, you will make sure that everything goes perfect. Hair, clothes, venue, and even what you talk about. But with that comes over-thinking and overcompensating everything. You have to realize when it comes to the conversation part, everyone is bound to make a mistake. A mispronunciation here, or even a Freudian slip here and there.
First dates can be nerve-wracking and scary, and for a good reason. No one wants to continue going on first dates with different people every time. The goal is getting a second date and developing a connection with one person, in the hopes of starting a relationship. With that in mind, you have to be careful about what you talk about. What you talk about can lead you to more dates or end in disaster.
There are things you should never ever discuss, or even utter during a date, especially on the first one. Things you should never talk about are:
1. Anything related to your exes.
This is a bad idea. If you’re ranting to your date about how horrible your ex was, you’re making yourself look bad by back biting, regardless if the stories are true or not. Avoid ex-talk like scammy spam emails.
Talking about your ex in a good way, however, is also a bad idea. If you think it’ll show how mature you are, think again. You’ll give your date the impression that you aren’t over your ex, and that this date is just a rebound date. You’re just really begging for that awkward date that people gossip about on social media.
2. Discussing anything about the future too soon.
There’s nothing wrong with talking about YOUR plans for the future. That’s a good sign; it shows hope and direction. But if you talk about your future WITH your date, you might scare them away. Talking about marriage, children, and white picket fences on a first date will make them bolt like a bat out of hell before the second course.
But once the two of you have reached the fifth to seventh date, you can start considering talking about your future together if your relationship is getting serious in any way. Not at length, but then again, the two of you wouldn’t have gone on this many dates if you didn’t see each other as potential life partners already.
3. Sex, or anything related to it.
If you play your cards right and you are a decent person, you will get there. Talking about sex on the first date will make the other person think that it’s the only thing you want and nothing else. And that might run opposite of what your date wants. Same as talking about the future: it’s a conversation best saved when you are both ready.
It’s about being respectful to the expectations of the other person.
Never talk about money on the first date. Not only is it a delicate topic, it might even be a sensitive one. You might come off as vapid and superficial because of it. During a dinner date, play it safe and offer to pay for half the bill.
5. “I love you.”
Talk about jumping the gun. Nothing makes a first date head for the hills faster than saying those three words. Those words should take a while to be realized and meant, and an even longer time to be uttered. The person who spouts “I love you” on the first date will be triggering alarm bells for the other person. And you can count on the term “borderline crazy” repeating in their head, over and over again.
The first date is all about making a good impression. It doesn’t have to be a spectacular one. You just have to make sure you don’t freak out your date so they agree to go out with you again. So take some of this advice to heart and avoid the topics that were mentioned in this list. Also ask a friend to play wingman for you.