Online dating is like walking through a minefield. You have to tread slowly and carefully. One mistake and you’re a goner. That may seem like an exaggeration, but anyone who’s had to traverse the pitfalls of dating would be inclined to agree. All Asian dating sites agree on one thing; dating isn’t easy. But it doesn’t need to be complicated. Besides, like what Thomas Paine once said, “What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly,” meaning anything worth getting is worth the challenge of getting.
That said, all first dates are awkward. You’re a little more relaxed on second dates. The real challenge is to get that successive date. However, a lot of people make mistakes that lessen their chances in getting them. That being said, here’s a list of do’s and don’ts that can serve as a guide of what to remember when you’re on a date.
● Look your best and be punctual. You don’t have to be wearing your absolute best; looking presentable is enough. And if you’re late, you will give your date the impression that you’re not that interested. Don’t go too early either, though. You might come off as too eager, and that might be just as bad as being apathetic.
● Enjoy yourself during your date. You are looking for a possible serious relationship, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have fun. Taking it too seriously might work against you.
● Compliment lightly. When you see your date, always compliment them on the way they look. It’s a good gesture and flattering. But don’t overdo it. That would be seen as you fixating on their looks alone.
● Unless you know your date already, always let them know what your plans and your expectations are. You need to set them to make sure both of you are aware of what you want to happen, and there are no misunderstandings.
● Be open about your interests, as well as theirs. Ask questions about them and share stuff about you. What you both like to watch, read, listen to, etc. It’s a great way to establish common ground.
● Date people you see yourself being attracted to. Whether if it’s someone you met online or someone, your friends set you up with, make sure that it’s someone you’d be interested in. Again, common ground is important.
● Be direct. If you don’t want to see someone you dated, don’t lead them on or make them wait. Tell them gently and directly, and don’t mince your words. If you’re keeping it to yourself out of fear, you will just drag it on and waste both of your time.
● Stay positive. Not all dates will end well. You won’t find The One for you immediately. You might have to go through a few Gastons/evil stepsisters before finding someone worthwhile. Just keep going forward and onwards. Good things come to those who wait.
● Trust your gut. Sometimes you get a not-so-good vibe about a date. You are better off not getting to the point where you finally find out what was bugging you. By then, it might be too late.
● Never lie about any aspect of your life to your date, even if the truth is boring or something they won’t like. Lying to impress them will backfire. No lies stay hidden forever.
● Avoid TMI. Sharing stuff about yourself is a good thing but don’t overshare. If it’s something you won’t share with people you work with, then think twice about telling your date.
● Don’t make your date feel like you’re not there. Focus on your date. Keep your eyes on your date. Don’t check other people out. Avoid using your phone unless it’s an emergency.
● Don’t give out personal details on the first date. Don’t give important and specific details like that until you trust the person.
● Don’t drink too much. It’s okay to have a glass of wine or something similar but avoid drinking a lot. That will be a horrible idea. The chances of it ruining the date are pretty high.
● Don’t rush things. Building a possible relationship will take time. Give it time to grow and let things happen as they do. On the flipside, you shouldn’t drag it out too long, either. Don’t let the person think that you’re leaving them hanging, even if things are good.
● Don’t contact someone you dated recently too often. Try messaging about three times a day to say hi and check up on them, but nothing more. You can, however, message more if the other person is clearly intent on carrying a conversation (like if they keep making open-ended statements). Make yourself available, but don’t make them think that you’re clingy or desperate.
These are just suggestions. In the end, it’s up to you if you want to follow these rules. See them more as a guide to help craft your set of rules when it comes to dating. Also, these aren’t the only ones. Find out what works for you and your dates, then take it from there. Enlist the help of a friend to help play matchmaker.